We are often taught that family is the most important thing in our lives and that we must always show loyalty. Last year I finally decided that I had had enough and that being part of my family was no longer an excuse for the poor and very often abusive behavior that I have experienced nearly my entire life.
Abuse comes in many forms and I experienced all of them.
Growing up I knew that my family was not normal. When I became an adult I finally started putting the pieces together and realized that the childhood that I experienced was not normal or healthy. The anger, loneliness, and depression I felt as a young child, teenager and young adult was directly correlated to the abusive and turbulent childhood that I experienced. Sadly this transcended into my relationships with my friends and partners and the older I got the more difficult it was for me to do well in school and remain healthy. I got sick a lot and I even checked myself into a hospital for severe depression.
Getting away from this abusive family dynamic was one of the best things that could’ve happened to me. It wasn’t without pain and feelings of emptiness, but at 26 years old I was finally able to heal.
I often get asked by many people how I could stop talking to my own family, but when you’re in an abusive situation it clouds your judgment. You see the world differently. You see bad behavior as normal when it’s not. Moreover, your view and opinion of love is distorted because all you know is abuse and controlling behavior. I looked for love in all the wrong places and constantly looked for others to save me from the emotional problems that I had from such a crazy family dynamic.
It wasn’t until I moved thousands of miles away that I was able to truly heal and be at peace with myself. And what better place to do that than the Bahamas?
As much as I initially hated my move I’m grateful for the suffering I endured because the timing couldn’t have been any better.
When I look at the past it makes me sad but I remain grateful for the opportunity to move to another country. Although it felt like a step back career wise it was the perfect chance for me to truly regain my sanity and finally get some balance and consistency. I needed to finally get away from all of the drama that had been bringing me down for years.
As women we are taught to accept poor behavior from many people. And I’ve decided that I will no longer accept the bad behavior of others, despite familial relation and no matter what they have done for me. I want more women to feel empowered and strong enough to leave a situation that does not serve them anymore. If people want to be in your life they need to earn that spot in it.